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    October 2008

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    DWRC

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    Oct 08, 2008

    Russell's idea is like a naughty kid throwing a stone in an avalanche area...

    Where is that pesky planner????
    Russell has just posted with a sweet idea for an analogy repository.

    What does that mean?  Well, the idea is that it would be a place where good material for analogies can be found.  i.e. the back half.  So, every time he (or maybe contributors, Russell?), comes across a good one... for example the fact that Dimitar Berbatov runs less than any other United player, yet is in the right place more often  ...it gets blogged.

    Nice, eh?

    Here's the thing though.  Russell probably won't get round to doing this.  He already does lots of other stuff, and doesn't have time to organise a 5-a-side game against Nonsense at the moment (probably just scared!), let alone start another blog.  However, I suspect that's why he posted the idea today.

    See, now what going to happen is that people who like the idea will start contributing to it through posts like this, and then someone will offer to set it all up for him, someone else will brand it etc etc.  And before you know it, the site will be up and running in a flurry (see what I did there?!) of activity.  We did something similar with Flaming Desks, which is working quite well.

    Here's my two-penneth:

    1. It should definitely be a collaborative, but curated, effort. The more analogies the better, especially if...
    2. ...someone out there is surely capable of writing an awesome bit of search logic, whereby visitors can enter the nature of the thing they're trying to find an analogy for and it finds the right one!  (This would have to be bloody clever, a bit like some of the tech. in Ubiquity, which is potentially amazing, but currently too difficult.)
    3. I'm in.  This kind of approach worked for us on Flaming Desks, so I hope that's what Russell's doing too.  Dunno how I can help yet...

    Oct 02, 2008

    Look what we done.

    Funny how you remember you're supposed to be writing a blog when you want people to see some of your work, eh?

    Oh well.  At least it's funny.  And it's got Geoff Capes in.  And he's throwing tradesmen into a sandpit.

    Aug 08, 2008

    Flaming Desks

    Hotter than the hottest of hot desks!

    We're making this thing at Nonsense, with our webby-developy mates at White October.  It's called Flaming Desks and it puts people who have spare desk space in their office in touch with itinerant professionals who need a desk for a day.  It's free and easy and a great way to meet like-minded people from similar industries...

    ...at least it will be when its built.  At the mo' - as the image suggests - its just a blog. We're openly discussing all aspects of Flaming Desks, and want you to join in NOW!  So, get over there and do at least one of the following (BEST PLACE TO START IS THE ABOUT PAGE):

    • comment on a blog post (e.g. "Love the logo, hate the name")
    • vote in the little poll
    • link to it from your blog, forward the URL etc
    • burn a desk in our honour and send us the photos



    Jul 09, 2008

    Dizzee Rascal; marketing messiah

    Dizzee
    Grimy rapper Dizzee Rascal is an inspiration to us all.  Two reasons...

    One:

    His brand behaviour has been is based around collaboration.

    Hardly anyone listens to UK hip hop, but Dizzee has taken himself out of that niche through successful partnerships with everyone from Arctic Monkeys to Calvin Harris.  Far from diluting his influence, its served only to increase it, and that of the niche genre from whence he came.  And what he's doing is NOT piggybacking.  He's talked in the past about collaborating with Kate Bush - which would be doing her a favour PR-wise, but would also further strengthen Dizzee's "Rep".

    That's because collaboration always works (well, a collaborative attitude will always pay off in the end).  So many brands are too precious to be seen next to other brands, and miss awesome opportunities as a result.  Mutual backscratching is basically proven as a very efficient and effective way to do business.

    More fundamentally than that, Dizzee's collaborative attitude shows a depth of understanding of his target market.  These are kids who've grown up plugged into a 'net where mashups are the norm, where the barriers to social interaction are so low that you "might as well give it a go" every time.  Collaboration is just a bigger part of life now.  Its only right that this change in attitude is reflected by brands.

    So, if Noel Gallagher's recent un-endorsement of Jay Z's Glastonbury appearance is symptomatic of his attitude to collaboration, I think we can safely assume we won't be hearing from Oasis anytime soon.

    (One of the strengths of Nonsense is that its essentially a vehicle for us to engineer collaborations with great people - and its working for us so far!  We're open about it, and clients respect that, and reap the benefits.)


    Two:

    He's real.

    Don't worry, I'm not getting all street on yo asses here.  Dizzee's brand talks in a way that is exactly how the product is.  Granted, its easier because he's a one man brand - but think about how many interviews you've read where celebs/artists talk like they're been briefed two minutes previously by a PR guy (wonder why?).

    In Monday's LondonPaper, Dizzee gave an interview that - in one exchange in particular - exhibited tonnes of personality and made me laugh out loud.  I bought his latest single on iTunes as almost a direct result.  Here it is, dear reader:

    LP:  What requests do you make at a festival?

    Dizzee:  I'm really low maintenance.  But it pisses me off when people can't get the simple things right, like honey and lemon so I don't lose my voice.

    LP:  How do they manage to get that wrong?

    Dizzee:  They cut the lemon so thin.  It's not for presentation you silly bastards, its for squeezing into the fucking drink.  What the fuck is that?  Just putting a bunch of thin lemons into the water doesn't work you fucking...

    LP:  Have you lost your rag?

    Dizzee:
      I've had to!  It's not like I asked for some unicorn midgets!

    The man is a genius.

    Apr 24, 2008

    Sculptures

    If you're ever near Burghley House (which is near the lovely town of Stamford, in good ol' Lincolnshire) then make sure you check out the contemporary sculpture garden.

    I wouldn't say I'm particularly into art at all, but I absolutely loved it.  It was a massive area, with a small wood, a lake, loads of lawns and tucked away round every corner was a sculpture.

    Burghleylemmings

    I loved these little guys.  Hundreds of really simple Lemming-type creatures crowded towards the precipice  of a concrete slab.  If you look closely, one has - completely inexplicably - got wheels!

    And I also thought these dudes traversing a big tree branch were great too.  They look brilliant in silhouette, don't they?

    Burghleytreewalkers




    Branded Art

    Tuc

    I love this photo.  Partially because it evokes memories of the rainy Glastonbury when I took it while we were trapped in our tent, but mainly because TUC biscuits aren't something we'd normally think of as beautiful - but this shot of one illuminated from behind by a torch is (well, I think so).

    Also, I was going to link to the TUC website - but a 2 second search revealed nothing, except for this ad for them on YouTube, which I don't understand.

    Apr 21, 2008

    Merchandising

    Bearbath

    This is how you do merchandising:
    - catch people's eyes
    - demonstrate the product's key feature (its big)
    - don't put 'orrible big signs up that scream prices/benefits at people

    Modelbath

    Apr 18, 2008

    A Taylor At War - Ch 2, Part 1.

    This post is part of the "Granddad's War Stories" series.

    Chapter 2 - Invasion.

    Part 1, The landing.

    I, and my little recce party were put on a small merchant navy vessel, and the troops were later loaded onto invasion barges with trap doors on the ends.  The sailors were most kind and gave up their bunks to us, which was appreciated, but caused us some foreboding "Hail Caesar, for tomorrow you die." (Apology to Author)

    We left at night and I was up next morning early.  We were in the middle of a sea with no land showing in any direction.  Ships stretched in a line to the front and rear as far as one could see and on each side destroyers dashed up and down looking for submarines.  Then we were able to see a shoreline, then beaches with houses at the back, then sandhills.  All of a sudden our boat stopped and we were off-loaded onto a sort of floating raft with an outboard engine and we made for the shore.  Our engine broke down and we drifted towards the minefield.  To the right of us the other ships were firing madly, and the H.M.S. Warspite was hurling colossal broadsides right over our heads.  It was very noisy.

    Our sailor got the raft under way again and soon we hit the beach and drove off into only two feet of water and up and off the beach like scalded cats and into the cover of the foxholes beyond.  I went forward to the command post to confirm my landing and get directions about the best route to our destination five miles inland.  However, the Infantry and tanks had not got there and I was given an alternative V.P. (vital point) to defend. 

    Everything seemed oddly familiar as I set off into France.  Our orders had been changed, so I changed mine without fuss; our months of drill were bearing fruit.  One Officer lost his jeep in the sea and did his recce in a huge gun tractor instead of a tiny jeep.  Drill again.

    By evening all our troops had landed and we were deployed in our correct location and were engaging the enemy right, left and centre.  We did well and shot down over a dozen enemy fighters and damaged many more.

    The attitude of the Norman inhabitants was extraordinary.  They were neither friendly nor hostile.  All they wanted to do was get on with their farming.  I remember on one occasion when tanks at one end of a field were firing into a wood at the other and whoever was there was replying in kind.  I crawled up on my belly and had a look and there in the middle of the field a farmer was ploughing, completely oblivious to the battle raging on each side of him.  French farmers are a breed apart.  They admit no boss except nature.  In Normandy we had no fresh food and subsisted on "Compo" rations which consisted of a sealed box with rations in it for 10 men for 48 hours.  The food was all concentrated stuff and one grew weary of it.  The thing that we missed most was bread and I well remember that one of our friends in the R.A.F. flew back to England and came back with a load of fresh loaves which he shared with us; there was enough for one slice each and like dogs we crept away to our fox-holes to consume this manna from heaven with the reverence it deserved.  Of all the food I have ever consumed since that day, nothing can compare with that slice of bread.

    The situation in Normandy soon became unpleasant.  Troops were still pouring into the bridgehead from which there was no outlet.  If you dug a trench you were liable to dig up a body.  The heat increased and dysenetry broke out.

    However, the great day came when the Army got through at Falaise.  The Battery went forward but I had contracted dysentery.  I wouldn't agree to being back loaded to base so I was put into a little tent with a bucket for company.  There was no medicine to start with and my temperature soared to over 140°F before the vital dosage of sulphaguanidine arrived and 24 hours later I was lifted into a jeep and headed for a Falaise gap to try and catch up my Battery.  I was never wounded during this campaign but I bear the effects of this episode for the rest of my life.

    ___

    OK, so after the funny final section of Ch 1 I guess we were in for a reality check.

    Its hard not to be angry about the lack of attention paid to Granddad's dysentery, when I know how it affected him in later life.  But, to be fair, he says himself that he refused help to a certain degree.  And obviously his sufferings are minor in the grand scheme of things.  Still, the thought of him in a tent with a bucket brought a tear to my eye. 

    The landing itself sounds just incredible.  I know Granddad wasn't in the very 1st wave of attacks - doesn't make sense to bring the big guns in until the infantry are successfully there.  And, annoyingly, my only frame of reference as to what this would've been like is Saving Private Ryan!

    Mum, Dad, Granddad, Granny and lil Dave actually went to Normandy in 1994 prior to the 50th Anniversary of D-Day.

    Here's some photos (thanks DaD):


    The little old lady was a local who remembered Granddad's troops being in the field in her village.  They couldn't communicate as she didn't speak English, and Granddad had little French - but it was a magical moment nonetheless.

    In fact, it was a really emotional trip.  I have a very strong memory of the look on Granddad's face as he stared out to sea.  It's not a face he showed often.

    At one point, Granddad disappeared for a couple of hours into the Mess of a bunch of British troops who were camped on the beach.  Nobody knows what the hell he was doing in there, and we never will!

    His attitude to the French is explained by what he saw in Normandy.  He just didn't understand them at all - at the time I thought it was because he was a bit old fashioned, grumbling about how they put cream in everything and stuff.  But now I see he had his reasons.  In a way I admire the balls of The Farmer Who Ploughed On, but I think I would've been more to Granddad's mind if I'd have been in a situation where they could, and arguably should, have been helping fight an horrific oppressor.



    A Taylor At War - Ch 1, Part 9.

    This post is part of the "Granddad's War Stories" series.

    Chapter 1 - Home Service.

    Part 9, Preparation for off.

    We took up residence in the middle of nowhere in Northamptonshire.  It was forbidden to give our address to anyone and all mail was censored.  At first I found the censoring amusing, then trying and then a fearful chore.  I do remember one of our younger lads, a dispatch rider aged about 18, who had got himself engaged to three girls, one in Driffield, Yorks., another in Grimsby, Lincs. and another in Croydon, Surrey.  He wrote all his letters in triplicate using carbon paper.  The letters always started the same way -

    "Dear Darling (space for name),

    As I write this letter I miss you and think only of you." etc. etc.

    I don't know how he sorted it out, because at the end of the European campaign it was rumoured that he had done the same thing in France, Belgium and Holland.

    We were in a "concentration area" and were not allowed to leave it or disclose its location.  We were on 12 hour notice to pack up and go.

    We used our time to "waterproof" our vehicles which meant cunningly covering the engine with an asbestos plastic so that we could plunge into the sea without ceasing up, and bringing our stores and ammunition up to pre-determined levels.

    We all got bored.  The Battery Sergeant Major (a poacher in private life) took a party of us rabbit-hunting.  Suddenly a farmer appeared at the end of the field shouting furiously and waving his pitchfork.  They all looked at me for guidance.  I gave it.  I fled.  I got to my office and had just wiped the sweat from my brow when the Battery Clerk appeared in my doorway -

    "Mr. Smith, local farmer, to see you sir."
    "Good afternoon Mr. Smith.  Do sit down.  What can I do for you?"
    "Your bloody soldiers have been trespassing and poaching on my land, that's wot"
    "Oh dear.  Very serious.  (Anxiously) Could you recognise any of them?"
    "No! - except the one leading them was a little runt."
    "Ah!  I'll investigate, Mr. Smith.  Rest assured I'll find the culprits and deal with them."

    I never went poaching again.

    One of our officers who had been educated at public school, found Stowe College not far away and arranged for us to play a cricket match.  We got together an eleven clad in army shirts, battledress trousers and ammunition boots and were met by our hosts clad in spotless white and cricket caps.  After a splendid tea we went out to field and then I heard in the far distance the familiar "pop-pop" of a Norton 500.  The dispatch rider strode across the field and delivered the dispatch to me.  "Red alert.  Return immediately."  Since the message was classified "Top Secret" all I could do was thank our hosts and depart without explanation.

    Then I was off in my recce jeep and two dispatch riders on motor cycles, heading for Tilbury Docks where they examined our vehicles for waterproofing efficiency, issued us with emergency rations and a tin each of self-heating soup, a bag vomit, soldier, Mark I.  The latter were just like vehicle wheel inner tubes only much lighter and served as pillows and loot bags for the rest of the campaign.

    ___

    That's got to be the funniest chapter so far.  That lad with fiancees in every town cracked me up.  Imagine using carbon paper to duplicate letters!  These days, I guess soldiers just cut 'n' paste  copy into various social networks!  The opportunity for polygamy that web2.0 technologies have provided is incredible!  Someone should do some research to see if people have become more free with their marriage proposals since Facebook...

    On a serious note, censorship must've not only been boring, but put Granddad in a strange position of knowing the intimacies of all his troops.  Before I read this, I'd assumed there was some kind of central censoring office where a bunch of clerks in horn-rimmed specs sat with a pristine pot of red biros each - that would never come into contact with the troops.  I wonder what secrets Granddad knew about the guys who fought with him?  And it must've taken a lot of dedication to keep them to himself too.

    Anyway, don't you just love that story with the farmer?  The only thing missing is a stereotypical holler of "GERRORF MY LARND!!!".  I think that little tale, while funny, also illustrates the nervous tension that arose from just waiting to invade.  Rabbits are as good a distraction as any.

    Finally, the cricket story is lovely.  I like to think the captain of the village side was a Victor Meldrew type who was left spluttering in the oval, waving a fist in the direction of Granddad's departing jeep!  (Soundtrack would probably be a gentle reprise of the A-Team theme tune.)


    Anyway, that brings Chapter 1 to an end.  And I'm double-posting today to make up for my shoddiness of recent weeks, so we'll be "fighting them on the beaches" in a matter of minutes...


    Apr 03, 2008

    Reading

    Scientific Advertising. Claude Hopkins.